


Drowning

by thealphagate_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Drama, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-25
Updated: 2006-03-25
Packaged: 2019-02-02 16:49:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12730479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealphagate_archivist/pseuds/thealphagate_archivist
Summary: Jack ponders his relationship with Daniel.





	Drowning

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the archivists: this story was originally archived at [The Alpha Gate](https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Alpha_Gate), a Stargate SG-1 archive, which began migration to the AO3 in 2017 when its hosting software, eFiction, was no longer receiving support. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are this creator and it hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Alpha Gate collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/thealphagate).

_Don't pretend you're sorry_  
I know you're not   
You know you've got the power   
To make me weak inside 

Jack stared at the cell phone in his hand, a puzzled expression on his face. That was odd. He couldn't figure out why his lover had just hung up on him. He'd called Daniel's house to ask if the archaeologist wanted anything while he was out picking up groceries. 

Daniel had told him, in much more colorful language, to go to Hell. At least that was what Jack had gathered from the names and phrases Jack understood. About the time Daniel hit Abydonian, Jack had been--well, to be honest he'd been horror-struck. "Did we have a fight while I was gone?" Jack had asked, confused. " 'Cause I thought we agreed we were gonna stop doing that." 

Daniel's voice had cracked. He had that tone of voice that meant he'd been crying, but didn't want Jack to know. He didn't know what had happened, but just the tone of voice Daniel had, had made Jack's heart break. He thought he'd managed to banish all of the things that could hurt Daniel from the younger man's life. It had been so long since he'd heard Daniel cry. Not since Sha'uri had died. 

"I talked to Sam," his voice had sounded so small. . . 

Oh, shit. 

_Maybe I'm a drifter_  
Maybe not   
'Cause I have known the safety   
Of floating freely in your arms 

His and Daniel's relationship had never truly been defined. Jack knew that. Just after Kawalsky had died. . .Jack had been so upset, and he knew Daniel was missing his wife. It was just one time, they'd never mentioned it again, and had just gone about their lives as if they'd never been in each other's arms. Just the one time. 

That was what Jack had thought. 

But then Daniel had been lost on the dark side of that planet while Jack was under the effects of the Touched virus. When they'd gotten Daniel back, Jack had been so happy to hear Daniel call for him. He'd liked the fact that he was the one Daniel called for when he was hurt. Probably liked it a little too much. 

It kept happening. When that crystal being had impersonated Charlie, he'd gone to Daniel for comfort. He'd been ready to retire when they'd thought Daniel was dead and had left him on that planet. The sound of Daniel calling his name as he was engulfed in flames haunted him even after they'd gotten Daniel back. 

He didn't know when it had stopped being simple. When it had stopped being about sex and had started being about love. Jack suspected it was when Daniel had been left for dead on Apophis's ship. The happiness that had overwhelmed him when he'd seen his friend in the gate room was uncanny. Spacemonkey. Jack still didn't know what had possessed him to say that. 

_I don't need another lover_  
It's not for me   
'Cause only you can save me 

Daniel had talked to Carter. Okay, so what? Daniel knew Jack cared for his teammates more than he was supposed to. Everyone at Cheyenne Mountain knew that. His professionalism was a joke. He didn't have a team, he had a family. 

He'd answered truthfully, he would rather loose himself than Carter. He'd rather loose himself than Teal'c, also. Daniel. . .If he lost Daniel, Jack would more than likely follow him. He loved Daniel, and Daniel knew that. 

Didn't he? 

Jack ran over some of the conversations he and Daniel had had over the years in his head. Come to think of it, no, Daniel more than likely *didn't* know. Because Jack had never come out and said it. 

One conversation stuck out in his mind. He and Daniel had been talking about something, what, Jack couldn't remember now. But, they'd started wrestling on the floor, and when Daniel had pinned him down, Jack had retaliated by tickling the younger man until he'd slid to the floor, gasping for breath. 

Daniel had propped himself up on his elbow. "Jack?" 

Jack looked at him, "Yes, Daniel?" 

"Do you love me?" 

Jack had been slightly startled by the blunt question and had played it off, making it like it was a joke. "Shut up, or I'll do it again." The truth had been, he didn't know the answer to the question. 

Daniel had giggled. Daniel didn't laugh often, and it was sound to be cherished. He'd smiled bigger. "Do you love me?" he repeated. 

"Right," Jack started tickling him again, causing Daniel to scream and beg for mercy. 

Daniel didn't mention it anymore that night. Jack hadn't been able to think about anything else. Did he love Daniel? He'd laid in bed with Daniel's head pillowed on his shoulder, stroking the younger man's hair. The scent of his lover's shampoo wafted up to him, along with an underlying scent that Jack had simply recognized as Daniel. About the time Jack was about to give up his conclusion as unknown, Daniel had snuggled in closer, wrapping his arm around Jack's waist and sending small puffs of air against Jack's throat as he practically climbed into Jack's skin. 

Yes. Yes, he did love Daniel. 

Jack had resolved to tell Daniel that the next morning. To answer the question he hadn't been able to answer the night before. But Daniel had beaten him to it. Jack had been sitting at the table, eating a bowl of cereal when Daniel had come down from the shower. He'd asked when the briefing was supposed to be and then had started to leave the room to get his things to leave. 

He'd halted in the doorway, turning to look at Jack. "You know last night, when I said I loved you?" 

Jack had nodded in response. "Yes." 

Daniel smiled one of those small smiles he gave when he wasn't really smiling, but wanted to give the illusion. "I didn't mean it. I was being moronic." 

Jack stared at him in disbelief. It took a second for it to sink in. "Oh, yeah. I know." 

Daniel had walked out of the room. Neither of them had ever brought up the subject of their feelings for each other again. 

Now that Jack remembered the events, he realized something that he'd missed before. Daniel hadn't said that he loved Jack. He'd asked if Jack loved him. 

Fuck! 

Jack turned right instead of left, heading for Daniel's apartment. 

_I can't imagine_  
Life without your love   
And ever forever   
Don't seem like long enough 

Jack rang Daniel's doorbell, and waited impatiently for Daniel to answer. When Daniel took too long to come to the door, he took to pounding on the door. 

His fist had been raised to knock again when the door had swung open. Daniel stared at him for a moment, then said, "Jack." 

"Daniel," Jack put his hands on his lover's shoulders and moved him into the apartment, kicking the door shut behind him, "We need to talk. Actually, I need to talk, you need to listen." 

Daniel stared at him as if he'd lost his mind, but nodded his head and followed him into the apartment. 

It was a start.


End file.
